Politics and Such

Good Day.

I've been in politics a long time, and if there is one thing I have learned during all that time it is this one thing. The fastest way to lose a vote is to identify where you stand on a particular issue or person or political party. As soon as people find out what you're for or against, it gives them a reason to line up for or against you. Generally, I'm whatever party you are, and if you're for it, I am too, and you're against it, then so am I. I have found this to be a good policy, and it keeps me out of a lot of hot water.

Today, for the sake of a good story, I'm going to forsake that position.

As is my custom, I went to Lillian's Diner for breakfast this morning.

Lillian's Diner on Cleburne

Chief Wiggum

As I was leaving I spotted one of Chief Wiggum's officers writing a parking ticket.


I was all by myself and I walked up and asked him to please show a little courtesy to another public servant.

He glanced at me and just kept on writing.

This got to me a little, so I asked him if that pen and pad made him feel like a real man what with all that power to inflict financial pain on the little people. He placed the ticket on the windshield and started writing another.

I asked him how it was to have your wife be the man of the family since he obviously was taking his pent up frustrations out on the public. He placed the second ticket on the car and began writing another.

I then asked him who the commandant was at his stalag and was he friendly with other Nazi's like Colonel Klink or Sargent Schultz. That didn't even get a rise out of him. He just put the ticket on the car, and started another.

This went on for several minutes. No matter what I called him, how bad I insulted him, or how much I pleaded, he just went on writing tickets as long as I kept talking. I finally just gave up and kept quiet.

Helmet Law Violation in Lando

When he finally finished, I told him to have a good day. He nodded and got on his bike and rode away.

I stood there a minute just to allow myself to fully comprehend just what had happened, and stared at the pile of tickets on the windshield. When I was satisfied that I had done all I could in the situation, I turned and walked back to my office.


You see, that wasn't my car parked there. I didn't know who that car belonged to, and frankly, I didn't really care. I had noticed it when I went into Lillian's because it had a big new bumper sticker on the back that said "Hillary in '08".

Undecided Voter

Welcome to Lando!

Oh, before I forget...Seems like people dont buy flowers for Easter like they used to, so Peggy Cabot's having a sale on roses down at her store. You all go and help her out.